It's All About Connection! NVC With Dr. B!
Episode 003: You Judge - Oh Yes You Do!
Episode Summary
Hello fellow judgers. Judge, judge and judge all the time. Today, we'll be talking about judgment in its various forms and the outcome of judgment. The whole point of today's title, You Judge - Oh Yes You Do, is a play on words, and we want to start bringing some awareness to this idea that judgments are everywhere. They're everywhere in and around our lives.
Episode Notes
Key Points Discussed:
- Some people when they hear non-violent communication, they're turned off right from the get-go because they're thinking, well, I'm not violent with my communication, and non-violent communication came out of Gandhi's understanding of non-violence., and this idea that anything that disconnects us from another human being is a form of violence. (0:58)
- It's an extreme form, obviously of judgment and how it can play out and be disconnecting between people, for sure. And I think most of us can relate to it. Most of us have been in a situation where you're in conflict, and so then you go and you talk crap about a person either directly to them or away from them, and it's usually not very helpful. (5:54)
- So beware of these absolute terms. There's also just so many people who get confused between feelings and thoughts. This is a big thing in NVC, that we start to get really clear about feelings or internal sensations, thoughts or what goes on in your mind, but we say things like, I feel abandoned, I feel disrespected. Those are not internal sensations, those are actually judgments of something you think somebody is doing to you. (8:41)
- We are so habituated to judgments and they are very, very dangerous. That's a judgment too. But they are, they do not typically lead towards connection. Remember, connection is the ease and flow that occurs within you and between people when they experience being seen, heard and valued without judgment, it's this concrete thing that we could start being very mindful of, especially when we are in conflict. (11:51)
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