It's All About Connection! NVC With Dr. B!
030-To be (Empathy) or not to be (Empathy)!
Episode Summary
In Episode 30, Dr. B and Heather talk a bit more about empathy and, specifically the phenomenon of when some folks think they are doing empathy but are actually doing something other than empathy and whether that is more "harmful" than "good," or in other words if it's service to needs or not? What to do about that? The two also model the empathy process to remind folks how this sounds.
Episode Notes
- On self-connection..."... It's a good habit to get into. I recommend people start doing this when you start a meeting, when you're beginning a class, before you get out of your car in the morning to go to work, just pausing and getting connected with self because often we don't even know what the heck is going on inside there, so then we certainly can't speak from that place," (00:36.6)
- "Yeah, I guess I think of NVC is like a super power you can wield and sometimes you can misuse it..."(06:36:0)
- "I guess that's what I'm wondering. Is it more harmful to do it in a way that's not in alignment with the process or... I guess anything helps. " (07:55:8)
- "It always comes back to connection, is it getting you connection, and if it's not, then that's a place to pause and self-connect and figure out and take a look at what you did or what you didn't do... It's a hard question. I think I'm hearing you ask me, which is, do people need to get it a 100% right, or should you point it out to people? You're just wanting to know, Is it dangerous if people think that they have it and think that they're applying it and they're not actually applying it. And what do you do in those kinds of circumstances?" (08:11:1)
- "Often, I have my greatest gains in the process and my greatest learning in the process has to do with when I screw up the process, I don't have the level of connection that I want." (10:41:6)
- ",, one thing I would love to talk about, since you brought it up, is just to remind people what empathy is and what it's not." (11:41:8)
- "but let's just do a couple of minutes of empathy just so people can be reminded of what it is in case you're out there in the world thinking I got this down. We wanna just make sure that you're really truly getting what we're talking about when we're saying NVC empathy, which is staying present, reflecting back what you're hearing someone say, taking needs guesses, and you can do this either out loud or you can do it silently." (13:30:4)
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