It's All About Connection! NVC With Dr. B!
016-Connecting Requests- The Thing We Don't Do!
Episode Summary
In this episode, Dr. B. and Heather discuss the very important concept of Connecting Requests. They talk about why Connecting Requests are invaluable, why most people don't do them, and what they are. Connecting Requests can be a game-changer in your difficult communications - so listen in and learn!
Episode Notes
Key Points Discussed:
- I wanna speak about connecting requests because they're revolutionary. I really do believe they are revolutionary, and partly why they are revolutionary is because we don't do them, they're just a whole new concept of what you do when you're in dialogue with someone in conflict.(2:00)
- "I'm wondering if you're open to hearing some of my thoughts on this..." is a connecting request. (3:50)
- "I'm wondering what you are hearing in terms of my feelings and needs?" Which FYI, guess what folks... that last little piece was a CONNECTING REQUEST... Exactly, I'm leading her to give me empathy, so even if the person doesn't know empathy, you can end your statement with, "Hey, what are you taking away from that in terms of my feelings and my needs or something along those lines" (4:44)
- Yeah, imagine being in an argument and you just expressed, granted, you kept it judgment free by using of OFNR, but still you're in a conflict. So when you ask someone, how was that for you to hear? We don't usually ask that question because more than likely, the person is gonna respond with a can of whoop ass on you in that moment, they're probably gonna say some things back that you don't like, but the thing is, is they're thinking it anyways, thus the Connecting... You wanna know what really is going on for them, so it could be like a tennis game, just volleying constantly. How is that for you to hear? Can you tell me what you heard? (6:22)
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